All The King's Men
by RaeC
Summary: SLASH: Survival is sometimes its own reward.
1. Pray for Silence

Pray for Silence 

--

"Wait for me. Don't move. Don't talk. Don't even breathe anymore than you have to."

He waits for me to answer. I nod. 'Like I'm going to go anywhere, Daniel.' At least, not by myself. With a quick pat to my thigh, he slips off into the underbrush barely making a sound. I couldn't be more proud. One geeky archaeologist transformed into soldier within seconds. He likes to surprise me like that. And he does.

Wait. For. Me. I sigh. I could write each of those words on a card and tell him a thousand different meanings for them. Why? Because I have nothing better to do than lie here and repeat them over and over again in my head. Helps to have something else to concentrate on than the pain; the pain in my head, my arm, my leg, my chest.. geez, where don't I hurt?

It all comes down to those three words, 'wait for *me*'. What did it mean? What did he mean? What do I want them to mean? Is it like 'I love you' or 'I miss you', or 'I'll be back'. Does that count? 'I'll' sounds like one word. Yeah, it counts.

Damn it hurts to breathe. What if I just moved a little? Bad idea, bad idea, very bad idea. Just gonna stay right here. Not move. Right. Wait for Daniel.

Chaos. Noise. Screaming. More firing. Someone crashes through the brush near my hiding spot. Shit! They're going to lead the Goa'uld right to me. And I can't do anything. All I can do is lie here and listen. Be as quiet as I can or I'm dead. And hope that Daniel comes back soon.

More screaming, cursing. Oh God. Please don't let it be Daniel. Please, please, please don't be Daniel.

Silence.

Jesus Christ, whoever it was, I hope they're dead. Damn Snake Heads! They were just kids!

I haven't prayed in years, but I'm praying now. Praying harder than I've ever prayed in my life. The quiet is even more deadly than the noise. Barely a bird chirps or animal moves. It's as if everyone is waiting. Like me.

'Wait for me.' Daniel's words come back to me again. It's the only hope I have to hold on to. I think I've waited a lifetime for it sometimes. Like right now. I have to lay low. Not move. Barely breathe as the Jaffa move around; their metallic uniforms clanging, clinking as they search.

Wait for Daniel.

Wait for…the end.

Pray for silence.

~The End~


	2. Last Man Standing

The Last Man Standing...

"Airman, are you all right?"  In all this noise and all this confusion, she picks me to treat?  Not in this lifetime, Doc.  See?  I'm walking, I'm moving.  All I want to do is get to that gate.  I try to brush past her, but nah…she's gotta flash a friggin light right into my eyes. God damn, Doc, that light bright enough?  Squinting, I swat at her hand and glare. 

Airman!  Airman!  I'm a Marine, thank you very much.  Not some pampered little Flyboy who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the head.

"Yeah, 'm fine."  I snap testily over the din. Now, Doc Fraiser ain't one to take guff nicely in a good mood, but today she just nods and ducks as a staff blast sends showers of dirt raining' around us.  It's chaos, pure fucking chaos.  Everyone diving for the Gate and dragging' teammates with 'em.  The medics trying to get to the rest, the ones that are still living' least ways.  SG1 and SG2 blasting away, barely on their feet trying to buy us all some time.  Not for the first time a gal has ta ask herself what the hell happened.  

Squeezing past the doc, I stumble up the stairs and fall headlong for home...and straight back into hell.  The Gateroom is a mass of moving insects, people thrusting their way all about.  Screams and moans, and just people everywhere.   Soldiers aiming guns at me ready to off me until I'm cleared as one of their own.  All I want is a little corner, a little space out of the way.  My head is starting to pound like nothing.  

People were being shoved through the Gate as fast as they could and herded off the ramp just as fast.  Just, ya know, hold your horses.  I'll get there, damn it. Just gimme time.  Gotta find where they put the rest of my team.  I gotta find my guys.  No one knows how to treat them right, knows what they want.  

The captain went down first, almost as soon as we walked through the Gate.  It was kinda ironic and all…the man who never went first being the first to go.  They're going to think I'm hysterical if I don't stop snickering here soon…but it was damn funny.  Saved Larry's life.  First time the man ever acted like a goddamn officer.  

That was us…me, Larry, and Curt. Semper Fi.  Kinda like the 3 Musketeers that way...all for one, one for all. We either all go home or we don't go home at all.  But there wasn't much to come home to now.  I saw the medics grab my teammates.  Scoop and go runs.  Tag em, bag em, toss em through the Gate.  Out of all us, I was the only one to make it back alive and that's cause Major Carter saved my ass. 

Some more shuffling around in the throng and I'm finally allowed to sit down.  I'm just gonna blend into this here wall and pretend I don't exist.  It ain't so hard.  I've gotten good at it over the years.  People tend to forget I'm around.  Useful little tool, like right now.

My mind wandered back out there, on the battlefield, and didn't want a wakeup call.  I wanted to remember it all.  That place of blood and limbs and internal organs cast about as if they were the supper for the coyotes.  More and more I was beginning to regret this assignment.  There was no glory here.  And I looked.  Trust me.

There was nothing on the other side of that wormhole but chaos.  Chaos and death swirling around each other in an erotic dance.   Dark, swarming clouds of Death Gliders pouring across the mountaintops.  Young men dressed in SGC uniforms spewing from the surrounding shrubbery and forests, PM5's aimed right at us blasting away.  

Nothing had prepared us for this carnage.  War games, we were supposed to be playing war games with the Tok'ra.  This wasn't any game.  What in the hell happened?  We walked blindly into a war zone.

SG1 and SG2 dove for cover giving as good as they got.  We took cover and returned fire as well, but not before we lost the captain and Curt was put out of commission as well.  His arm was just…gone, blood pumping out in spurts.  There wasn't anything' I could do.  I was too busy aiming for the Jaffa that was gunning' for my head.  

Someone dialed for home, but not before over half the units were pinned down or dying.  God…what the hell happened?  What went wrong?  I just kept firing' and firing' and firing'…no real target in mind.  If it moved I shot at it.  Shot and shot and shot.  

"What in the blue blazes happened out there?"  General Hammond came marching into the Gateroom, a mama bear all ready to defend her cubs.  I couldn't help it.  Really I couldn't.  One doesn't laugh in a General's face, but...mama bear.  I don't think he'd appreciate the comparison.  It's been my impression that Generals get testy about the oddest things.  I'm pretty damn sure that's one of them.  

"Bad Recon, sir."  Poor guy, barely on his feet trying to salute the General.  Bad Recon my ass.  It was a set up, pure and simple.  Anyone who doesn't think so is about to find out the hard way.  Hope someone has the brains to shut down the iris.  Blind, they're all blind.  Well, except Colonel O'Neill.  He always knew it was coming.

I really must look a sight sitting here.  Cept for a few nicks and scratches, and a mighty fine cut in a place we won't mention, I survived.  A lot better than this lot of folks.  They don't look right happy at the moment.  Somebody handed me a blanket along with a handful of others and stuck us in a corner.  I remember this part!  They told us about it in boot camp.  Triage.  The last man standing is the last man treated.  They'd said that if you walking' and talking' you must be breathing' and not bleeding'.  Thought it was funny at the time.

Now...now I ain't so sure they weren't the lucky ones, the guys and gals on the stretchers being' hauled off to the infirmary.  It had to happen sooner or later.  Those snake heads, as Colonel O'Neill calls 'em, have smarts.  

We were sitting ducks.  Just begging to be shot, as my mama would say.  One second I'm walking through the Gate and the next, I'm flat on my ass the wind knocked the hell outta me.  Good thing that there stone pillar stopped me from going too far.  Be a mite black and blue in the morning, but they raise tough up in the mountains.  Hell, my daddy's thrown me against walls harder than that.  So, what's that? You, like, get a resistance over time?  Don't matter.  

More people coming through the Gate...SG1, I think.  Sweat pouring down my face makes it kinda hard to see through, ya know?  I think they took the worst of it.  But hey...they ain't dead, so that's a plus.  Barely standing and Teal'c is dragging the Colonel by his arms.  It musta been bad.  Real bad.  I sit up a little straighter trying to catch a glimpse, but all I see is blood.  Major Carter and Dr. Jackson are leaning on each other, each struggling to make it down the ramp.  I'd help, but I'm too tired.  

What'da mess.  What a big friggin mess.  Who did the recon on this?  When I get my hands on 'em the first thing I'm gonna do is shove some of these guts down their throat.  Man, I'm plastered with the stuff.  How's that line from that bug movie go?  The fleet keeps on flying' and the infantry keeps on dying'.  That guy Heinlein must met a few marines in his time cause that's just how it is; one after another, only we don't leave anyone behind.  Wherever recon is, they're gonna pay...after I get a little shuteye.  It's been a long day.  

Starting to get a bit cold in here now.  I wonder if I can get another blanket.  The medics come round handing out morphine shots like they're candy.  I don't need one and tell the guy so.  All I want is a blanket.  Strange thing about medics, they all go happy, happy, joy, joy on your ass, or they look so somber they could fight over the rights to who looks more dead, them or a corpse.  And ain't I the lucky one?  I got a somber one.  Can I please just have a blanket, thank you very much!  Now I'm starting to get pissed.  Can't a gal just lay down and take a nap?  The infirmary is full, they don't have the personnel to spare tending to a few nicks and scratches and would this guy get the hell out of my face with his lights and needles and leave me in PEACE!

Old somber face nearly broke a world record moving on.  Who's my mama, who's my daddy?  I don't really give a fuck right now Doc, come back and check later.  When I might give a damn.  I just want to lay here, listen to the quite hum of the lights above, the frantic scurrying of the medical personnel still loading the wounded onto gurneys and taking them off to the infirmary.  

A couple added to my little corner...some dead, some soon to be dead, and few that could walk, like me.  They didn't look no better than I was.  One guy had blood all matted in his hair and he kept staring at his hands like there was something special about 'em.  

Damn medic...he gave me a shot!  I didn't feel it, but I sure do feel the floating'.  For Christ's sake, all I did was get grazed by a staff blast.  Nothing special.  Had a few things blow up around me and one of those hand magigger thingies toss me into a wall.  It's not so bad.  Been hurt worse.  I hate this floating feeling.  I hate medics who think they know better.  Don't they know a little pain lets you know you're alive?  Keeps you grounded in the here and now?  Keeps you focused...I wanted to stay focused...

Too late...things were getting really hazy, muted, not there.

"How are feeling Sergeant Kaley?"  Man, I always did love the sound of that voice, soft, lilting, and commanding, Major Carter.  She looked like something the cat the dragged in, but ya know, had to be the prettiest thing I'd seen in a long time.  Her uniform was all rumpled, scratches and nicks all over the place.  She looked tired, as tired as I felt yet she still found the energy to smile.

"I'm fine Ma'am.  Just need to catch a few winks and I'll be right as rain."  Didn't look as if I convinced her, she just chuckled quietly and gave me a hand up.  

"Come on.  Let's get you to the infirmary. It would be a shame to let a good soldier waste away." She kept me on my feet, supporting me all the way there and stayed until someone realized I wasn't the walking wounded, but the bleeding wounded.  Someone was going to get their ass chewed later, but I didn't care right now.   Right now I just wanted to live.  

Leaning on her, things didn't seem so bad anymore.  There was somebody there who cared.  That's a nice feeling, having mates, people there for you.  And one trip to PX5-729 took it all away and gave it back again.  I don't think I'll take my friendships so lightly again, for some of us…that's all we got.

That's twice Major Carter saved my life.  If it hadn't been for her out there in the field, I'd be toast.  Nothing but Jaffa kabob.   And if she hadn't noticed in that entire melee that I really needed someone to watch my back, I'd be just as dead.  I guess that little nick wasn't so little after all.  Now all I need is a way to say thanks…once I'm back on my feet again.


	3. All the King's Men

All the King's Men 

Home. They had made it. Daniel gasped as he and Sam fell through the Gate, the iris slamming shut behind them. They were the last ones to make it out of PX9-32K alive. Daniel shuddered. It was just too much. The day too long, his body too hurt, his mind just too overloaded with images and smells and sounds.  
  
"Daniel? Are you okay?"   
  
He waved his hand vaguely in the air. "Yeah, fine." Kneeling on the ramp, he caught his breath. The smoke, the stench, the noise had all combined together on the planet. Yelling. Confusion. Suffocation. "Just, uh...just give me a minute." Pain. Everywhere. Surrounding him. Someone talking to him again.   
  
Shut down.   
  
One thought.   
  
'Jack.'  
  
And Daniel was off and running. Everything blank. Just one thought repeating over and over again.   
  
'Where was Jack?'  
  
~~->>~~  
  
He skidded to a halt at the infirmary door, afraid to go in. Afraid of what he would find. The last time he'd seen Jack, he was lying in a puddle of his own blood in the brush barely breathing, barely alive. Had they made it back to the Gate in time? Were they in time to save Jack? Where was he?  
  
The infirmary was like being right back on the planet; only here the battle was fought with scalpels and bandages. After everything that he'd been through, the sight of men and women maimed, bleeding, in pain, shouldn't have affected him this way. But these weren't some nameless enemy lying dead on a field. These were people he knew, friends. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this level of carnage. And somewhere in this mess lay Jack, waiting for him.   
  
Somewhere.  
  
Alive.   
  
He had to be alive.   
  
Daniel waded through the injured, searching for Jack. All he wanted to see was the familiar sight of his grey hair. Hear his demanding voice that barked orders even from his hospital bed and insisting that he was fine, it was only a bump on the head.  
  
Instead, he found Ferretti, dead. Warrens from yet another team, his chest charred black and white and his eyes, oh god his eyes, they prayed for death, quick and clean. And Simmons - unconscious - not dead, but he may as well be. He'd lost the use of his legs, forever. Oh god, what the hell happened?   
  
"Daniel." Janet demanded as she grabbed his hand and placed it on a soldier's bandage. "Hold this here. And don't move."  
  
Daniel, in shock, followed her directions mechanically. His mind worked slowly, trying to process everything going on around him. Janet. Janet would know where Jack was. "Where's Jack?"   
  
"Gone."   
  
"Gone!?" Daniel stopped breathing. No.   
  
"Daniel. There is nothing you can do to help Colonel O'Neill right now. On the other hand, you can save Sergeant Kelsey's life by doing as you are told." Janet rushed off as one of the nurses called her name leaving Daniel lost, unsure, and afraid.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Hours later, Daniel found space to curl up on one of the barracks turned hospital rooms. He was too tired to go home. Mentally and physically exhausted but unable to sleep. He lay with his arm thrown over his eyes, craving the forgetfulness of the dark that wouldn't come as his mind replayed the day over and over again in his head.   
  
Jack was gone.   
  
It wasn't possible. Jack was too sure. Had too many lives. He was Spec Ops for God's sake. It had to be a mistake. Janet had made a mistake. It was as simple as that. He had to see the body. Daniel wouldn't believe it until he saw with his own eyes. Getting up off the bunk, he went to find Janet. Daniel would know if Jack was dead.   
  
Searching the SGC wasn't as easy as he'd first thought. In the relative quiet after the storm, no one seemed able to lift more than their head and stare wearily in one direction or the other. Most not able to answer him at all.   
  
Daniel finally found her in the mess hall with her hand wrapped around a coffee mug, lost in her own thoughts. What could she be feeling after today? After seeing so many of the people she'd come to know, befriend even, dead, dying, or injured? How many friends had she lost today? Daniel sat down and took her hand in his. "Janet?"  
  
She looked up, barely awake. "Oh, Daniel." There were dark circles under her eyes. And the only way he could describe the look in them was haunted. The same expression he saw in the eyes of the people they came across who'd already fought the Goa'uld and lost. People who've seen too much and just wanted it all to go away. Is that how they all looked?   
  
"Are you…" Okay? Of course she wasn't okay. He could see that for himself.   
  
"I haven't heard anything yet. I really should call over to the hospital." Absently, she patted his hand and rose, carrying her mug over to the kitchen.   
  
"Call the hospital?" He asked, confused. Daniel had the impression that Janet had already she'd forgotten he was there.   
  
"Oh, sorry. I'm sure Colonel O'Neill is fine. They would have called." Janet sighed, rubbing her head. "Are you…"  
  
"I'm fine." Daniel cut her off. "You need to get some sleep, Janet. You look…tired."  
  
"No, I'm fine. I just want to stay here a while a longer. It's quiet."  
  
"Are you sure?" Daniel was desperate to get to the hospital, but he didn't want to leave Janet alone either.  
  
"I'm sure." Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but her words were sincere. Daniel heard the fond underlying 'get out of here and go check the Colonel' that she left unspoken. He kissed her on the cheek and ran for the elevator.   
  
Jack was waiting.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Jack had been rushed straight to the OR from the emergency room. It had taken Daniel half an hour to find out even that much. The ER was as overloaded as the Infirmary, handling the overflow and dealing with the confusion of family members trying to find out information. It was made even more confusing since the hospital had switched shifts and those who had been called in went home. The day shift had little information to work with other than who was being treated where.   
  
Every time the door opened, dozens of eyes tracked the progress of the nurse or doctor, hoping against hope that they would be next to find out what happened. Daniel was no different. Only he feared the appearance of the doctor as much as hoped to see him. 'Or her,' he added silently.   
  
'Just be okay.'  
  
Feeling useless, Daniel leaned forward, staring at his hands. The memory of Jack blood running between his fingers was burned into his skin. He'd scrubbed his hands until they were raw, but he couldn't get the feel of it off. He'd been torn between stopping the bleeding and pulling Jack into the brush to hide them from Niirti's troops. He felt blood caked under his fingernails. Heard the harsh, rasping sounds of Jack's labored breathing. Felt Jack's lips under his hand as he tried to keep the Goa'uld from hearing them. The macabre moment of living with his two greatest fears, holding Jack this close and never being able to truly touch him.  
  
He was supposed to guard Jack's back. He'd failed. Now Jack was paying for it. He couldn't even follow one simple command, stay behind Jack and don't let anyone come up on their six. But with all the confusion, the shooting, and orders flying back and forth, he'd lost sight of Jack. By the time he'd found him, Jack was injured. Badly. And the rest of the teams had already retreated to the Gate.   
  
"Any news?"  
  
Daniel jumped. He been so deep within his thoughts, he hadn't heard Sam come in. "No, as far as I know, he's still in surgery." He looked up to find the worry he felt reflected in Sam's eyes. "The desk isn't exactly forthcoming."  
  
"No news is good news right?"  
  
"I suppose. " Daniel shrugged. He didn't really want to discuss it. There too many people were here. He felt suffocated, as if he was in a cage under a microscope; eyes and ears everywhere, watching everything, looking, listening for least little scrap of information. Just like he'd done when the doctors had talked to others earlier.   
  
"Daniel, he's going to be all right. You know the Colonel. It would take an army to keep him down." Sam placed a hand on his thigh offering what comfort she could, her words carefully chosen.   
  
Daniel laughed quietly. Sam was right. Jack would probably be out of bed tomorrow knowing him wanting vengeance. It had been SG-1 after all who'd cleared PX9-32K for the training mission.   
  
"I just don't understand, Sam." Daniel was lost and confused. That planet had been clean just hours before. No sign of anyone alive in over five thousand years, yet Niirti stood there smiling evilly, her eyes glowing as the teams came through the Gate. Then the shooting started and Hell opened its doors.  
  
Sam squeezed his hand, at a loss to explain why it happened either. "Neither do I. God it was a nightmare. We got…lucky."   
  
"I have to go." Daniel tore his hand free and slipped away.   
  
"Daniel?" Sam called.  
  
He needed some fresh air. Lucky! Luck had nothing to do with it. This would never have happened if he'd just stayed close to Jack. Daniel leaned up against the wall outside the ER ignoring the stares from the people entering and leaving. It's a hospital. What was one more person in pain?  
  
What if Jack didn't make it out of surgery? What if Jack never forgave him? What if, what if, what if. What use was it asking any questions right now?   
  
'Just please, whoever is listening, let him be okay.'  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Twelve hours later…  
  
Daniel sat in a chair next to Jack, waiting for him to wake up. His head lay on his arms on Jack's bed, too heavy to keep up any longer. His throat was raw from talking, he was working on a massive headache from lack of sleep and his eyes felt as if they had sandpaper in them. And he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday.  
  
The same clothes that had Jack's blood on them, filled with the scent of smoke and charred flesh and dirt and something else Daniel didn't want to examine too closely. He really needed to get up and go change, but he was afraid to leave. Jack might wake up and he wanted to be there when he did.   
  
Daniel needed to hear him; his entire body focused itself on the steady in and out rhythm of Jack's breathing. He couldn't explain it if anyone had asked. It was a superstitious need; as if he couldn't hear Jack then, Jack would be gone. Daniel sighed. "Come on Jack. Wake up."   
  
Daniel laughed at himself. Jack would probably wake up just to get Daniel to shut up. He sounded like a frog with a frog in its throat.   
  
"Dr. Jackson?" A nurse called softly from the doorway. "You're wanted back at the SGC."  
  
"Later." Daniel croaked, hoping the guy would just leave him in peace.  
  
"I was told to tell you, by a…" The nurse glanced at the note, "by a General Hammond, that he wouldn't take no for an answer."  
  
Daniel sighed again.   
  
"I may not be a general, but in my opinion you look like hell, you smell like it too, and I'm ordering you to leave and get some rest, Doctor."   
  
"You can't order me. I'm a civilian." Even Daniel knew how pitiful that sounded.   
  
"Actually, yes I can." The nurse had entered the room and pulled Daniel to his feet. Six and a half feet of pure muscle encouraged him not so politely into the bathroom. "But first, you are getting out of those clothes. Are you hurt?"  
  
Daniel shook his head and just let himself be pushed and prodded out of his clothes and into the shower. He found it hard to argue with a man who could snap him in half and he didn't have the energy to anyway.   
  
"I'm burning these. I'll bring you some scrubs to wear. I'll let the General know you'll be there in an hour."   
  
"But I thought…"  
  
The nurse should have been a drill sergeant. "Don't think. Listen. I'll find you something to eat too."  
  
And that's exactly what Daniel did. He showered. He ate. He went to the SGC with his own personal escort who dropped him off at the front gate with a grin and a shrug. "Well, someone had to look after you, Doc."  
  
"Thanks." Daniel smiled tiredly and hopped out of the jeep, heading for his office. He needed to find a report before he went to see the General. Something on the planet had struck him as odd at the time but he didn't remember it until he was showering. He'd been too occupied with thoughts of Jack.   
  
Daniel's search was interrupted by Sam. "Hey, Sam."  
  
"How's the colonel?  
  
"Alive." Daniel sighed. "I just wish he'd wake up." He slumped against the wall.   
  
"Daniel." Sam laid a hand on his arm, offering what solace she could. "We're family. It always hurts."   
  
Daniel found himself staring into blue eyes as troubled as his own. He was torn between wanting to comfort and be comforted in return. "It just gets harder and harder every time, Sam."  
  
"I know." She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly. "God, do I know."   
  
~~->>~~  
  
"Dr. Fraiser, status report?"  
  
"Over half of our teams are down, General. Out of ten teams and twenty recruits, thirty people are dead and twelve more are wounded. We have five teams that were either off world on other missions or here at the SGC that are fully functional. At least one person is either dead or injured from the ten teams that left yesterday morning. SG-3 and SG-11 suffered the heaviest casualties." Janet read her report, stunning the room into silence. "I recommend bed rest and light duty for two remaining personnel, Sir. I don't think it's a good idea to return them to the field in light of their loss."  
  
"Agreed. " He nodded once and turned to address the rest of the table. "Do we where the Goa'uld came from or how they knew what planet we were on?" General Hammond waited impatiently for someone to answer him. He looked at each of the members of SG-1 in turn as well as several people from the other teams. No one seemed to have an answer. "Any ideas people?"   
  
Sam was the first to speak. "They just appeared out of no where, sir. One minute we were walking through the Gate, the next we were under heavy fire."   
  
"I do not know, GeneralHammond, but I recognized the tactics Niirti employed. It is an old trick that Apophis used to decimate his opponent's troops before he would attack enforce." Teal'c sat in his chair stiffly, ill at ease with the conversation. "It was said that he had spies everywhere."  
  
"And not one of you knows how the Goa'uld knew we'd be on that planet?"  
  
Daniel watched as everyone either looked down or at someone else. Anywhere but at the General. Their faces were filled with remorse, regret, pain, and anger.   
  
"Actually, I have an idea, General." Daniel picked up the report and some photographs that he'd collected from his office earlier, handing them to the General. "You see this stone here? The one with the odd mechanical device that we assumed was broken? We thought it was made by the Ancients because it resembled the machine that took over Colonel O'Neill's brain."  
  
"And?"  
  
Daniel rushed to explain. "I didn't really notice it at the time, but it wasn't active when we went through the Gate the first time. Now look here, the photographs from the M.A.L.P. just before we went through the second time. There's a light at the base of the stone."  
  
Sam chimed in. "Like a homing signal or proximity alarm?"   
  
"Exactly."  
  
"So what you are telling me is that the Goa'uld have a new weapon." The General took the news better than Daniel had anticipated.  
  
"No, sir. What I'm saying is that I think the Goa'uld have a way to track us, any time, anywhere in the Universe. And we don't have a way of combating it. We don't know what sets off the alarms. Just opening the Gate itself could signal the device and we wouldn't know the difference. This one was set out in the open. The next may be hidden."   
  
"Dr. Fraiser, I'm ordering a complete physical for everyone in the SGC. I want to know if anything unusual at all shows up, even if it's a hair on an x-ray." Hammond stood and leaned forward to make his point. "There will be no exceptions. Understood?"   
  
"Yes, sir." Janet nodded to the General, gathering her papers to head back to the infirmary.   
  
Daniel jumped up. "General, I'd like to request to go first. I want to get back to the hospital."  
  
"Permission granted. And Doctor Jackson?" The General called before Daniel had made it two feet toward the stairs. "Please keep me informed of Colonel O'Neill's status."   
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Two days later…  
  
"Sam, I'm tired, I've barely slept, and I want to go back to the hospital. We gone through every report, every photograph, talked to everyone who even sneezed on that planet. No one remembers anything out of the ordinary." Daniel put his head on the desk closing his eyes. His head hurt from reading report after report. "We aren't going to find the answer today."  
  
"We have to try, Daniel. The trigger has to be something simple. Something that we would normally overlook. Choosing PX9-32K for an ambush was no accident."  
  
"Ya think?" Jack leaned against the doorframe, his casual stance contradicted by the pallor of his skin.   
  
"Jack!" They both jumped to their feet at his voice, Daniel rushing to his side to help Jack to a chair.  
  
"Um, so, uh, how are you feeling?"   
  
"I've had better days, Daniel."  
  
"Gee, I didn't notice. What are you doing out of bed? I thought the doctor told you to stay there for another twenty-four hours at least."  
  
"Jacob said I'm fine. The doctors say I'm fine. Oh, I'm supposed to say hello, Sam."  
  
"Thank you, Sir, but I agree with Daniel. You should be in bed."  
  
"Not you too." Jack stood up, lifted his shirt, exposing his stomach. "Look Ma, no scars. I'm fine."  
  
"Jack, twenty four hours ago you were almost dead!"  
  
"Well, I didn't, did I?"  
  
"God, you can be such a pain in the ass."  
  
"And you are an overbearing, mother…"  
  
"Boys!" Sam interrupted before World War III broke out.  
  
"What!?" Jack and Daniel yelled at the same time, glaring at each other and her.   
  
Disgusted, she threw her hands in the air. "Daniel, I wish you all the luck in the world. You two deserve each other."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked as Sam stalked off.  
  
"Nothing." Daniel mumbled as he gathered his files.   
  
"Daniel…" Jack growled.   
  
Irritated, angry, and on the verge of a massive headache, Daniel leaned down and got right into Jack's face. "Let me put it in terms even you can understand, *Jack*. For the past three days I've had about eight hours of sleep. I've been either here, trying to figure out how Niirti stumbled across our path or at the hospital because for some stupid reason, I care about whether you live or die."   
  
"I don't think it's stupid." Jack mumbled, looking away.  
  
"You sure have a strange way of showing it, Jack."  
  
"Daniel?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Shut up and take me home before I pass out. Okay?"  
  
Daniel rolled his eyes and helped Jack stand up. "Gladly."  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Two weeks later…  
  
"DANIEL!" Jack yelled, his voice carrying down the hallway and probably two levels above and below where Daniel paced.  
  
What now? Daniel stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to face the irate Colonel. And judging from the look on Jack's face, the SGC was about to find itself minus one resident archaeologist.  
  
"Yes, Jack?" He sighed, waiting for Jack to get to the point. Daniel just wanted off-world, to get away from Jack and whatever managed to set him off this time. Since Jack had been released from the hospital, it was one argument after another over the smallest things. The SGC had become their own private war zone and Daniel had had enough.   
  
"Don't play the innocent with me, Daniel." Jack was livid.   
  
"So what great crime have I managed to commit now?" Pissed in your territory, Jack? Daniel thought to himself. "Did I drink the last of the coffee? Leave the toilet seat up in the head? Oh, I know!" Daniel snapped his fingers. "I'm breathing in your air space again. Excuse me. I'll leave." Daniel stalked off down the hall.   
  
"Oh no you don't. I want an explanation, Doctor Jackson. Where the hell do you get off volunteering me, volunteering SG-1 for off-world assignment." Jack chased him down the hall, fury lacing every word.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Daniel blocked traffic again as he suddenly stopped and whirled on Jack, causing personnel to walk into each other and the walls as they tried to skirt warring men. "I volunteered myself, not SG-1." Begged the General. Asked for reassignment before he killed Jack.  
  
"Daniel, have you read this memo?" Jack glared suspiciously at Daniel.   
  
"No…" He hedged.  
  
"Let me quote the first line for you…'As per Dr. Jackson's request, SG-1 is assigned to accompany SG-11 on the mission to PX5-794.' Any of this ring a bell?" Jack slammed the memo into Daniel's chest and strode down the hall.  
  
"Jack!" Oh for…Daniel didn't finish the thought and ran to catch up with him.  
  
"I had plans for this weekend, Daniel, plans that didn't include babysitting the archaeological team and being bored out of my skull." Jack snarled in his direction.  
  
"Look, I'll talk to the General. I'm sure this is some sort of mistake. I didn't ask for SG-1 to come along." Please, if there is a God, the General will change his mind and let Daniel have two weeks alone, without Jack. Two whole weeks with nothing more stressful than deciphering symbols into a spoken/written language or discovering something they can use against the Goa'uld. All his plans for peace and quiet, the evenings spent with Robert discussing the latest news in the archeological community disappearing before his eyes. He needed this time alone, needed to think, figure out what was wrong with his friendship with Jack before he lost it forever. This could not be happening. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening."  
  
"Daniel?"   
  
Daniel started, "Um, yeah?"  
  
"It's happening."  
  
"I, uh, I was speaking out loud wasn't I?"  
  
"Yeah." Jack seemed to have calmed a little. "I take it this puts a wrench in your plans as well?"  
  
"You could say that." Frustrated, he paced the hallway. "There has to be a way to change the General's mind." Daniel glanced down at his watch. "Oh damn. I was supposed to be at the mission briefing ten minutes ago."  
  
"We'd better get going then." Jack sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "After you."  
  
~~->>~~  
  
In the Briefing Room, Daniel spent more time studying Jack instead of listening. Trying to figure out where he stood in Jack's life now. Things had changed between them and he didn't know when it happened, couldn't find that point in time when he could say…that was it. That's when we stopped being friends.   
  
Over the years they'd had their fights, helped each other when they'd lost the ones they loved. Shared their hopes and dreams in late night conversations over a cup of coffee at the base or somewhere else. But nothing had ever come between them like this latest attack by Niirti. Somehow it had severed the invisible bond that held them together; broken it and Daniel wasn't sure it could be repaired.  
  
People change, grow. He'd changed. Jack had changed. He didn't know when it happened. Or how. It was a gradual thing. They weren't the same people they were six years ago. No one ever stayed the same. But this was different. This Jack was a stranger with a familiar face. He was harder, harsher, drawing lines in the sand when all he needed to do was to say no. It was Jack, but it wasn't. He looked like Jack, had short grey hair, the dark brown eyes, stood six feet tall but …  
  
"Daniel, any time you want to join the rest of us." Jack's sarcastic comment brought Daniel out of his introspection to find SG-1, SG-11 and the General staring at him. Someone had asked a question and he had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he missed it.  
  
He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Oh, uh, sorry. What was the question?" Daniel fiddled with his pen to hide his unease.   
  
" PX5-794…"  
  
  
  
"Right." Oh good, solid ground. "Well, it's worth exploring if for no other reason than the ruins." Recovering his equilibrium, Daniel pushed some photos out into the middle of the table. "And there doesn't seem to be any sign of alarms that would send for the Goa'uld. We've sent the M.A.L.P. through three times and Sam has conducted an aerial flight looking for signs of any recent activity an hour ago. The planet is dead."  
  
  
  
"I just knew you were going to say that." Jack sprawled in his chair not even bothering to look. He was the picture of ennui, doodling on his pad drawing who knows what.  
  
  
  
"Oh, come on, Jack. It's not that bad. A couple of weeks relaxing on a nice white sandy beach while the rest of us dig in the dirt..." Daniel tried to put a positive spin on things for Jack's sake.  
  
  
  
"What about the ruins themselves, Dr. Jackson?" The General picked up one of the pictures, interested in one in particular.  
  
  
  
"Well, Robert and I agree that the site looks to be no more than a hundred years old." Daniel glanced at the end of the table where Robert sat nodding his head.  
  
  
  
"We have reason to believe that the site was an old Goa'uld stronghold, sir. Possibly Niirti or some other Goa'uld we haven't met yet. It's almost impossible to predict at this point, General, without a closer study. The Hindu & Indra Gods hold aspects of both good and evil."   
  
"Dr. Rothman, your point."  
  
"The point is, we think we've found working machinery. Some of the technology that the Goa'uld have stolen from across the universe. And with Major Carter's help we'll be able to get further than I anticipated."  
  
"I'm convinced. SG-11, you have a go. Dr. Jackson, Major Carter, you'll be assisting SG-11 and Colonel O'Neill, you and Teal'c will be providing support. I expect everyone to keep a sharp eye out. I don't want another repeat of PX9-32K. That is all people. Report to the Gateroom in half an hour." With that, the General disappeared into his office putting an end to the meeting.   
  
Daniel quickly gathered his things. He didn't have much time to finish packing.  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Daniel was right. PX5-794 wasn't that bad. Beautiful weather. Gorgeous scenery. And best of all, no Goa'uld. But Jack stayed as far away from Daniel as possible. Every time Daniel came close to him, Jack found a reason to do something on the other side of camp or wandered off into the woods on recon. He was distant, cold.   
  
After a week of being ignored, Daniel had had enough. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't going to magically cure itself. The dig was going smoothly and SG-11 could do without him for a few hours. He needed to talk to Jack. And since the General had made it impossible for them to have space, they'd just have to fix whatever was wrong here. Dropping his brush, Daniel looked around for Jack. He was on the other side of camp, watching Daniel.   
  
'Typical',  
  
When he made eye contact, Daniel felt his world shift. Jack wasn't just watching, he was memorizing. Daniel couldn't look away. He was frozen on his knees as invisible fingers mapped his face as Jack studied him. Feather-light touches covered his forehead, his eyes, and his cheeks, along his jaw, everywhere. It was one of the most erotic experiences of his life; all the more so since Daniel never figured Jack for the type.  
  
Jack was the first to look away and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. He looked around quickly, but no one paid them any attention at all. What was that? What to do?   
  
He wanted that invisible touch back, strange as it may have been. At least he knew that Jack wasn't completely ignoring him. What if someone had seen them? What would they think? Could he get Jack to talk to him?   
  
Slowly he rose and cautiously made his way over to where Jack was cleaning his weapon. "Jack? Are you okay?"   
  
"I'm fine, Daniel." Jack kept his eyes on his weapon as Daniel sat down.   
  
"I think we need to talk." Daniel said.  
  
Jack's hand slipped from his weapon and brushed against Daniel's arm. Jack jumped and slid away, putting space between them. "I, uh, think that's a good idea."   
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah, I think you were right to ask the General for time away from the team. I've asked him to temporarily reassign you to SG-11. He's agreed."  
  
"What!?" Daniel didn't know whether to be shocked, insulted, or hurt, maybe all three.  
  
"You look at home here, Daniel. Your head, figuratively, buried in the sand." There was a tight smile around Jack's mouth as he joked, but Daniel didn't feel like laughing.   
  
"Well, I am enjoying myself, but that's not the point." Daniel studied Jack trying to figure out what was going through his head. What was going on?  
  
"Yes, it is the point. Daniel, you belong here. I've been watching you and I haven't seen you this relaxed in years. Enjoy it. SG-1 will be there when you get back." Jack stopped avoiding Daniel, locking that incredible intense scrutiny on him again. There was something dark and scary and exciting about it all at the same time. Something that held a promise that Daniel wasn't sure he understood.   
  
"And you, Jack? Where will you be?" Daniel held his breath, afraid to make the slightest movement. Afraid he would scare Jack away or that it would end up in argument again. There was a lot at stake here.   
  
Jack didn't answer. He just put his cleaning supplies away in his pack and stood up.   
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Do whatever it is that you do, Daniel." Jack waved his hand in the general direction of the dig, "And let me do mine." Slinging his gun over his shoulder, Jack walked toward the woods.  
  
"What if I don't want to?" Daniel called.  
  
"Not my problem." Shut down. Daniel hurried after Jack, afraid to lose him in the woods now that Jack had finally started talking.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
He stopped, his back to Daniel. "What, Daniel?"  
  
"What's going on?" There was this slight flinch that he would have missed if he hadn't been studying him so closely.   
  
"Nothing." Jack turned around, the walls up so high that Daniel would have needed explosives to get through.   
  
Daniel lowered his voice. They were starting to draw attention from the rest of the camp. "Come on, Jack. You haven't been this closed off since you went to work for Maybourne. Something is wrong."  
  
"There's nothing wrong, Daniel. Just some shit I need to deal with on my own." Jack entered the woods, Daniel close behind.   
  
"What?" Daniel hissed as he threw his hands up in the air. "Let me help. You've been shutting me out for weeks now."  
  
"The best way you can help is by leaving me alone." Jack glared, daring Daniel to keep to following him.   
  
"And if I don't?" Glaring right back, Daniel gave as good as he got. If they had to settle this the old fashioned way, so be it.   
  
"My decision, Daniel, not yours." Jack poked him in the chest. "Back. Off."  
  
"It's me, isn't it?" Daniel tested the boundaries of their friendship. After that 'look', or whatever it was back in camp, what did he have to lose? Jack was already pushing him away for something Daniel never intended to act on.   
  
"What?" Jack was wary. Well, so was Daniel.   
  
"Have I done something, or said something," Can you be anymore cryptic Daniel? "that would, uh…piss you off?"  
  
"Christ, do we have to get into this now?"  
  
"When? When is a good time for you, Jack? This century? Next? You'll have to let me know so I can schedule an appointment." Annoyed, Daniel wanted to shake some sense into Jack, punch him. Anything.  
  
What's worse, Jack didn't react. He simply looked sad. As if he had lost his best friend. "Sometimes wishes don't come true, Daniel." And with that, Jack disappeared into the woods.   
  
And sometimes you have to make your own dreams come true, Jack. Daniel didn't know how long he stood there thinking before he finally headed back for camp.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Two weeks and little had changed. Schedule was the same, day in, day out. Sam and Daniel would get up and dig with SG-11. Teal'c and Jack would work the perimeter. And then Teal'c stand guard with one of guys from SG-11, while Jack vanished into the woods, alone.   
  
It was not like Jack at all.   
  
Sitting on the ground, ready to finish cleaning off the last bits of dirt from some strange tools, Daniel felt Jack's eyes boring into his back. Whipping his head around, Daniel drank in the familiar face. The longer Jack stayed away, the harder it became for Daniel to hide what he felt. All because he knew that Jack felt something as well. But he couldn't touch. He couldn't ask. He couldn't tell.   
  
Just want. Like Jack. Then Jack closed himself off, as if the moment had never happened and escaped into the forest.  
  
"You're playing with fire, Daniel." Robert sank down next to him and started working. He'd kept his voice low, but Daniel glanced around to see if anyone else was close enough to hear him.   
  
"What?" Daniel tried to play innocent. Damn, have to be more careful.   
  
"Look, Daniel, I don't care who you're dating. You know that. I never have. But he's a colonel in the United States Air Force." Rothman whispered harshly near his ear.   
  
"Nothing is going on, Robert. So there's no reason to worry. Jack's just a friend."  
  
Robert snorted. "Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England. I've seen how you two look at each other."  
  
"I'm just concerned. Jack's been acting strange lately. Even Sam's been keeping an eye on him." Daniel pointed out to deflect any suspicions. Didn't work.  
  
"She doesn't stare at him like The Last Supper."  
  
"Neither do I!" Daniel checked the camp again. Everyone else was busy with their own thing or eating. This was bad, worse than he thought. How many others had seen something yet didn't say a word? Well, he needed to talk to someone and Jack certainly wasn't going to come within 50 feet of him. No one paid any attention to the two geeks with their heads bent over one thing or another. "Come on."   
  
Daniel brushed the dust off his pants to keep Robert from seeing how his hands shook. He'd screwed up. Big time.   
  
"Sam!" Daniel yelled across the site to Sam who was tinkering around with an engineering device they'd found two days ago. "Robert and I are heading down to the river. We'll be back in a little while."  
  
"Take a radio with you." She called. Daniel held it up, waved, and they took off.   
  
Daniel shook his head as Robert was about to speak. He wanted to be far enough away from camp to have this conversation without anyone overhearing. Not accidentally and especially not on purpose. And knowing Robert the way he did, Daniel knew he wasn't going to shut up about it until they did.   
  
It wasn't until they were at the river itself, sitting on some rocks well away from, and in full view of the path, that Daniel spoke.   
  
"Okay. Talk."  
  
"So you admit that there's something between you and the colonel?"  
  
"No! Robert, honestly, we're just friends." Daniel leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. How much to say? Or not say?   
  
"But you like him." Robert took his glasses off and cleaned them with the edge of his t-shirt.   
  
It was a statement, but Daniel answered anyway. He wasn't going to lie. "Yes."   
  
"And you aren't going to tell him, are you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Robert, not less than two minutes ago, you were cautioning me against it and now you want to know why not?" Daniel glanced over at his friend. Robert was studying him as if he'd grown a second head.   
  
"I'm just curious, Daniel. It's not like you to pass up an offer that blatant."  
  
"Blatant?"   
  
"Twice."   
  
Daniel looked up, shocked. Oh God. Someone had seen them last week as well. Who else knew?   
  
"Why do you think I said something? Be careful, Daniel. Very careful."   
  
"I've tried." He chuckled bleakly. "Obviously it isn't working." Daniel stood up and starting tossing rocks into the river. "Not that it matters. I'm being reassigned."   
  
"What?"  
  
"To SG-11."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Daniel shrugged. "I don't know. Because I need a vacation? Because Jack wants me gone?" Daniel viciously threw a rock into the water, the thump satisfying as it hit. "Because if I hang around here much longer, I'm going to do something stupid."  
  
"Like what?" Robert sounded weird, but Daniel didn't pay attention. He was too far into his own thoughts by then, unconsciously picking up stones along the shoreline.   
  
"I don't know. Ask him out on a date?"  
  
"Uh, Daniel?" Something in Robert's voice triggered a response in Daniel this time and he was afraid to turn around. He just knew Jack was standing behind him and had heard the whole thing. Oh God, he was dead. He should just fall into the river and end this conversation before it ever started.   
  
"Jack's standing right behind me, isn't he?" Daniel braced himself.  
  
"Um, yeah."  
  
Sighing, Daniel turned around but Jack didn't seem angry at all. He was standing with his hands in his pockets. Smiling.   
  
"Rothman? Can I talk to Daniel, alone?"  
  
"Uh, sure. I'll just…uh, go back to camp." Robert edged around Jack mouthing 'Be careful' yet again before he disappeared down the path.  
  
"So."  
  
"Yeah." Jack picked up a few rocks, handing some to Daniel, and chucked a few in the water himself.  
  
"How long were you standing there?" Daniel nervously shifted from foot to foot, toying with the stones in his hands.   
  
"Long enough." Jack moved closer, standing in Daniel's personal space, but facing the river. It was an illusion of privacy that Daniel didn't really feel. He was thrown off balance once more.   
  
"And you're not angry?"   
  
"Should I be?" Daniel caught the half smile and mischievous glance that Jack sent his way.  
  
"Jack, I wanted to ask you out on a date. Most guys find that offensive, so yes." Daniel dropped the stones he'd been holding and moved to lean against a tree along the river's edge. He needed something solid at his back to keep him upright in this conversation that seemed to have more twists and turns than a mountain road.   
  
Jack turned around, his eyes dark, serious. "I would have said yes, Daniel."   
  
"Yes?" Daniel floundered around for a minute. "As in, yes, lets go out to dinner and a movie together like a couple, not as friends?"  
  
"Yes, Daniel." Jack ran his hand through his hair, frustrated, and downright adorable. At least in Daniel's eyes. "I didn't mean for this to happen any more than you did, but Rothman's right. We need to deal with it."  
  
"I never would have acted on it, Jack."  
  
"I know and that's the problem." Jack spoke with a conviction that surprised Daniel. "I want you to."   
  
"You want me to?"  
  
"Daniel, would you quit repeating everything I say?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Jack, but you have to admit that it's something of a shock. I didn't figure you for the type."  
  
"I'm not."   
  
"Wha…" Daniel was at a loss for words. So things weren't as simple as they seemed at first. "Okay, why don't we start over because I'm confused."   
  
"I'm not gay. I'm not bisexual. So…" Jack gestured.  
  
"You're as confused as I am." Daniel nodded as he finally began to understand.  
  
"Yep." Jack tucked his hands back in his pockets. "I didn't want to like you, Daniel. At least not like that."  
  
"And this is why you've been avoiding me? Pushing me away? Arguing at every turn?" Daniel wanted to fight and he didn't. He was angry with Jack for the way he'd been treating him. He was also relieved. It all made a weird sort of sense, once you understood Jack-speak.   
  
Jack sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry about that." At least he had the grace to look embarrassed. "It just hit me that day after you took me home from the hospital that I, uh, liked you." Jack gave him the once over and Daniel didn't think that Jack could get any redder, but he did.   
  
"Well that makes two of us." Daniel chuckled quietly. "Although, I think hit me a long time ago."  
  
"Why didn't you say something!?" Jack glared at him.   
  
"And what? Become your punching bag for the evening? No thanks." Daniel shook his head. "Some things are too important to lose."  
  
"Like what?" Jack appeared genuinely curious. As if he didn't know, didn't realize how important he was to Daniel.  
  
"You. Your friendship. That's something I never want to lose. I'll take you anyway I can get you." Daniel looked up. "What about you?"  
  
"I honestly don't know, Daniel." Jack scrubbed his face. "I…what was I going to say? Oh hi, Daniel. I want to jump your bones. Interested?"  
  
Daniel burst out laughing. "Jumping the gun a little aren't you, Jack?"  
  
"I'm not stupid, Daniel." Jack remarked. "I understand the mechanics even if I've never gone beyond a circle jerk."   
  
"Which brings me to the all important questions…what are we going to do? What do you want, Jack? What about the military?" The questions that had held Daniel back from saying anything a long time ago. The 'what if's' he never answered himself while waiting at the hospital a month ago.   
  
"Can't we just take this one step at a time?" Jack seemed a bit nervous, as if he was ready to bolt at the slightest whim.   
  
"I can do that." Daniel nodded. "But what do you want to do first?"  
  
"I don't know. What would you normally do?"  
  
"Date?" Daniel suggested helpfully.  
  
"It can't be that simple." Jack was just a step away. Daniel could close the distance if he wanted to. Touch him. But would it reassure him or chase Jack away?  
  
Daniel stepped near, his voice soft. "Only if you let it."   
  
"Daniel, would you like to go out to dinner with me?" Jack took advantage and pulled Daniel into his arms; his words were confident but his hands were shaking as they skimmed along Daniel's back.   
  
"Yes." Daniel agreed readily. "On Friday? Say eightish?"  
  
Laughing, Jack rested his forehead against Daniel's. "Did anyone ever tell you you're easy, Daniel?"  
  
"Now that you mention it…" With Jack was this close Daniel had trouble breathing. After months of denying himself, all he had to do was turn slightly and he could kiss him, take that mouth that he'd spent dozens of nights dreaming about. Kiss Jack until he couldn't breathe.   
  
"I don't think I want to know." Jack snarked.   
  
Chuckling, Daniel remembered the first time someone had said that to him. It was Jack, when he married Sha're.   
  
Then Daniel lost all thought as Jack did kiss him; it was the kind of kiss where people could lose themselves and not want to come back. The kiss was soft, demanding, and hesitant all at the same time. It said 'Hello. I think I like you, more than I probably should. I'm afraid of where this is going. I don't want to ever let you go.'   
  
Jack had one hand buried in his hair and the other wrapped around his waist, pulling him as near as humanly possible. Daniel couldn't do anything but hold on tight. If this was a dream caused by some weird gas not picked up by the UAV, Daniel didn't want to wake up. Didn't even want to know.   
  
His world existed of Jack; Jack's lips, Jack's tongue, Jack's mouth as it slid along his, gentle and insistent at the same time. So open, so honest, giving. Hot and wet. Jack surprised him by gently sucking on his bottom lip. Something so simple, ordinary, yet erotic. A pantomime of what the future might hold. Daniel moaned. God, he wanted him.   
  
Jack owned him.   
  
Worse…he knew it too.   
  
Panting heavily, Jack broke off the kiss, resting his forehead against Daniel. "So, I take it…you've done this before?"  
  
"Ye…yeah." Daniel couldn't catch his breath. "But not…like this. Never…this intense."   
  
They stayed like that for several minutes, just holding each other, listening to each other. Waiting.   
  
"Daniel."   
  
"What?"  
  
"We have to go back. Someone's going to come looking for you any minute now."   
  
"I know." Daniel let Jack go and ran his hands through his hair, getting his body back under control. "We have to break camp. And Robert's going to need me to help with packing the tools we found."  
  
"Yeah." Jack brushed invisible dirt from his BDU's.   
  
Daniel picked his way over to the path that led back to the site. "Probably won't take long."   
  
"You know," Jack changed the subject. "I spoke to Hammond earlier this morning." Jack glanced over at Daniel as they walked. "We're both on stand down as soon as we get back."  
  
"We are? But I..." Daniel was confused.  
  
Jack stopped, nervously brushing his hair again. "I was thinking…"  
  
"What?"   
  
"Instead of going out to dinner on Friday, would you like to come over to my place? So we can talk?" Jack was back to being serious again. So, there was another major problem that wasn't solved yet.   
  
"Talk?"  
  
"There you go again, repeating everything I say." Jack cuffed him under the chin. "Yes, talk."  
  
"Sure, okay." Daniel would agree to just about anything at this point. "But what about the missions planned for this week?"  
  
"We're all on stand-down, Daniel. No missions."   
  
"Well, I know that, Jack." Daniel sighed. "But why did the General cancel them?"  
  
"Because I asked him to." Jack paced. "I told him you and I needed to talk."  
  
"And he agreed? Without question?"  
  
"Uh." Jack said. "Only on one condition."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"We're," he pointed back and forth between the two of them, "not kill each other."  
  
Daniel couldn't help it. He laughed. Daniel was more than willing to talk to Jack and find a way to work out this thing between them. He wanted it to work. Time alone with Jack. That statement kept reverberating in his head. Alone. With Jack. *Outside* of the SGC.  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Back at camp, Daniel found the teams almost packed and ready to go. The only thing left to do was to take down the tents and pack up their personal gear. Robert looked over at him worriedly and Daniel just smiled and shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his personal life. But that hadn't stopped Robert before and it wasn't stopping him now.  
  
"Daniel?"   
  
At least keep it brief. Please keep it brief, Daniel prayed. "What?"   
  
Robert gave him the once over and Daniel blushed under the scrutiny. His hair was disheveled and his lips felt slightly swollen, but he didn't think anyone other than Robert would notice. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"   
  
"No, but when has that ever stopped me before?"  
  
"True." He laughed. "Good luck, Daniel. You'll need it."   
  
Why did everyone insist on wishing him luck?  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Dinner that evening with Jack was something else. It was full of innocent touches, erotic glances, and uncomfortable pauses as they tried to fit themselves together into this new aspect of their relationship. Their hands brushing as they both reached for the same knife, or bumping into each other as they turned to get something from the cabinet. Daniel was doing his best to keep things simple, but nothing was going right. Usually when Daniel ate over, the two of them made dinner together as if they were one person. Tonight, however, their timing was all off.   
  
Daniel sighed, frustrated that he'd yet again managed to put Jack off-balance. He'd been slicing carrots for the salad when Jack had reached over for the salt and pepper, Daniel unconsciously handing it to him. Daniel's fingers skimmed over Jack's palm and Jack jumped, dropped the condiments to the floor.  
  
"Sorry."   
  
"My fault." Jack shook his head as he picked them up from the floor. "Are you done there?"  
  
"Yes." Daniel dumped the carrots into the salad, wiped the cutting board off, and then washed his hands. Jack stood stiffly at the stove, stirring the pasta, keeping as far away from Daniel as possible.   
  
"Do me a favor and just…" Jack waved in the direction of the Living Room with his spoon.   
  
"Do you want me to set the table?" Daniel stayed on the other side of the kitchen, afraid to get too close.  
  
"No, no. I'll get it." Jack shook his head, still refusing to make eye contact. This was not going well at all.  
  
"Jack…"  
  
"Daniel, please."   
  
Nodding, Daniel left the room. He knew it had been too easy at the river today. Maybe he should just go home? The whole thing was a huge mistake. They could pretend it never happened. Go back to just being Jack and Daniel.   
  
"No."  
  
"Pardon?" Daniel whirled to find Jack standing in the doorway.  
  
"Whatever you're thinking, the answer's no."  
  
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"  
  
"I know you, Daniel. Right about now you're wondering if we've both lost our minds and should just forget the whole thing. The answer is no." Jack grinned. The first real smile that Daniel had seen all evening.  
  
"But is this…right?" Daniel struggled to find the correct words as Jack approached.  
  
"Who cares? I'm doing what's right for me, Daniel. And you are right for me." Jack stroked his cheek. "But I don't want to screw this up."  
  
"Neither do I, Jack."  
  
"I just needed a little space, Daniel. It wasn't you." Jack backed away and started pacing. "Do you realize how many times a day you finished one of my sentences or I finished yours? Or touched without realizing it? Like in the kitchen?"  
  
"Uh, no?"  
  
"All the time. It, ah, reminded me why…I was…it threw me." Jack finished in a rush.  
  
"Ah." Daniel put his hand out and stopped Jack's pacing. "I get it, Jack. I'm not pushing."  
  
Jack nodded. "I know, but I still want you to accept the transfer to SG-11. Or another team. We need, no, I need the space, Daniel."  
  
"I see." So, it was over before it even started.   
  
"No. You don't. That's why I wanted to talk to you here instead of at a restaurant." Jack ran his hand through his hair. "I like you, Daniel. I really like you. I think it's probably more than like and that scares me."  
  
"You want me to go home?"  
  
"No!" Jack grabbed his arm before Daniel could slip safely away. "Lets just eat. I'm starved."  
  
Daniel nodded. Food was good. He could do food. It would keep him from thinking just how much this whole situation scared him as well.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Three months later…  
  
"So, er, Jack? Are you trying to kill me or is this just a new form of torture?" Daniel looked up at Jack who was doing his best not to laugh. It had been years since he felt this clumsy, but there was no way Daniel was going to let Jack know that he was paying more attention to his butt than the path.   
  
"Trust me, Daniel. It'll be worth it." Jack hauled him to his feet, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.   
  
"What?" Daniel looked around. Did he have something on his clothes?   
  
"Nothing."   
  
That innocent look was not going to work. Daniel knew better. "Jack…"  
  
"Daniel…"  
  
Daniel crossed his arms and scowled. Which only made Jack laugh. Great.  
  
Jack edged closer and before Daniel could figure out what he was up to, his hand snapped forward grabbing something off of Daniel's head.   
  
"Collecting admirers, Daniel?" Jack held a tiny green lizard in his palm.   
  
"So, how much further did you say this place was?" Daniel asked, trying not to laugh at himself and Jack's antics.   
  
"Not far. Another ten minutes."   
  
Jack had been unusually 'chipper' since this morning. Irritatingly happy. In such a good mood, Daniel was beginning to wonder if there had been something in Jack's cup besides coffee. The last three months had been a series of interesting dates wedged between missions. Dinners that ended up on Jack's deck watching the sun set and talking. Going to the museum, hockey games, the movies, or taking Cassie to the amusement park. Or like today, side trips into the middle of nowhere.   
  
Following him, Daniel slipped again on the loose rock, half annoyed and half curious. Annoyed because it was hot and sticky. When Jack had said 'wear comfortable clothes, we're going walking' this morning, this wasn't exactly what Daniel had in mind. What he had expected he wasn't sure. A walk in the park? With Jack it was hard to tell.   
  
As Jack continued down the path, Daniel studied him. He looked relaxed, self-assured. Jack had been right; the time apart had made things comfortable between them again. Daniel had stuck to his promise not to push and Jack had been growing increasing bolder. He'd kiss Daniel when he least expected it. Hold his hand when no one was around. Wasn't afraid to touch. It was frustrating and even more erotic because it was Jack. Daniel hadn't felt so wanted in his entire life and all Jack had to do was smile at him.   
  
The trail leveled out and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. "Jack?"  
  
"What?"   
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Here. There. Mostly there." Jack's mouth twitched again.  
  
"You've been watching Buffy again." Daniel laughed.   
  
"Hey, it's entertaining."   
  
Daniel snorted and passed Jack. Right. If he expected Daniel to fall for that one, he had some ocean front property in Arizona to sell.   
  
"Daniel..." Something in Jack's voice made him turn around. He had stopped dead on the path, his backpack lying on the ground. "Look."  
  
Daniel had been concentrating so hard on the trail that he hadn't paid attention to the passing scenery. And Jack…Jack was caught up in its web. How do you describe another person when it looks like they've just had a religious experience? All Daniel wanted was to spend the rest of his life watching Jack as he was at that moment.   
  
Peaceful. The lines of age and hardship gone. Head thrown back, drinking in the warmth. Shoulders back, arms hanging loosely at his side. Content. And his smile was as blinding as the sun. Daniel didn't think he'd ever seen this side of Jack before. The side that was untouched by the hardships of life.  
  
Daniel was...spell bound.  
  
Once again, Jack stared at Daniel, his eyes dark and passionate. "Come're." He held out his hand. What was he going to do? Say no? Hardly. After one aborted attempt to make his legs work, Daniel stumbled over to Jack's side. Jack spun him around toward the sound of water, which until now, Daniel hadn't noticed. He wrapped his arms around Daniel, resting his chin on Daniel's shoulder.   
  
"That's where we're going."  
  
And in front of him was paradise. A river so clean and blue that even from here Daniel could see the stones on the bottom. Water fell from the rocky terrain above, the late Spring thaw sending a huge spray of foam into the air. It looked cool and inviting in the heat. The pool shore was carpeted with ferns and soft grasses and surround by tall maples and birch trees. And most interesting of all was the cave; polished smooth by years of erosion.   
  
"It's beautiful."   
  
"I thought you'd like it."  
  
"It reminds me of…"  
  
"Yeah, I know." There was a hint of mischief in Jack's voice that made Daniel turn around.  
  
"You've got something planned." Daniel stared at him suspiciously, but Jack just shrugged innocently and kissed his nose.  
  
"Jack…" What was he up to now? And would this end with Daniel spending yet another night at home in a cold shower trying to find some relief? There were times that he swore Jack delighted in teasing him. This felt like one of those days.   
  
"Daniel."  
  
"Oh God." Daniel pulled away, putting some distance between them. "You are trying to kill me. I knew it."  
  
"Not for a few more hours."  
  
"Jack, I'm not so sure…" Daniel made the mistake of glancing over at him. There was that smile again. The one that made him forget everything but Jack and what Jack wanted.  
  
"Trust me." Daniel was rooted to the ground as Jack came over and picked up his hand. He barely heard Jack speak as the man rubbed circles in his palm. "You'll enjoy it."  
  
Great, now he was turned on. He wouldn't survive the day. "Why doesn't that make me feel any better?"  
  
Chuckling, Jack squeezed his hand affectionately and then dug around in his backpack. "Thirsty?"  
  
"A little."   
  
"Here." Jack thrust a bottle of water in his hand. "Drink up. Just not the whole thing at once."   
  
Right. Concentrate on drinking and not watching Jack do the same. Why did living by Jack's rules for their relationship seem so much easier months ago? Daniel was completely thrown off. Did he want to date or did he want…? Daniel couldn't finish the thought. His mouth became dry. His palms began to sweat. They needed to talk. Definitely needed talk. Needed to set some new ground rules. Before Daniel had a heart attack from his fantasies.   
  
Glancing over at Jack, Daniel tried to figure out what he was thinking. Mistake number one. With sweat coating his arms and neck, Jack poured part of the water over his head, soaking his t-shirt. The shirt clung to him like second skin. Daniel must have made a noise because Jack smirked and pointed with his bottle at Daniel's mouth. "Drink."   
  
Mistake number two.   
  
His eyes never left Daniel's face, watching, mesmerizing, memorizing. Not just with humor, which he expected, but something darker, deeper. Daniel's entire body felt electrified. He couldn't look away. He couldn't not look away.   
  
"Drink."   
  
He drank.   
  
The water felt good. Inside and out. Which was all the prompting Jack needed. He dropped his bottle, fastening his mouth on Daniel's throat, licking away the water that had escaped.   
  
"Oh god." Daniel would have collapsed if Jack hadn't been holding him up.   
  
This wasn't a gentle embrace like earlier. No, this was an act of claiming. Marking. Jack's mouth hot, leaving a trail from his lips, along his jaw, down his neck, and back again. Daniel wanted to throw him on the ground right there, forget the pool. And that thought made Daniel jump back as if he'd been branded.   
  
"What?" Jack looked like he'd just been slapped. And Daniel moaned silently. He could have shot himself.  
  
"No…" Daniel reached for Jack's arm only to have him jerk it away and watch as Jack grabbed his pack, stalking down the trail. "Jack! Wait a second."  
  
"You're the one who said no." He said.  
  
"…too fast." Daniel muttered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said," once Daniel had his attention, "you're moving too fast. I'm not saying 'No', just 'Not right now.' Too fast."  
  
Sighing, Jack nodded, but Daniel knew Jack was still pissed off.   
  
Daniel moved closer, close enough that he could feel the heat that enveloped Jack. They were both hot and the heat was enough to fray anyone's temper. He reached out, his fingers trailing over Jack's arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I wasn't thinking…" Daniel took a deep breath and boldly stated, "I was about to, as you so quaintly put it once, 'jump your bones'. I had to back off."  
  
He must have said the right thing because Jack was wearing that goofy smile again. "Yeah. But I'm going to hold you to that. Later."  
  
Daniel didn't know what to make of him. "Jack, don't say that if you don't mean it. I can't take much more of this. You said you wanted space. I've been giving you space, but you've got to do the same for me."   
  
"Maybe I'm tired of space."  
  
Daniel stood completely still. "What do you mean?"  
  
Jack shrugged. "I've had time to think."  
  
"And what conclusion did you come to?"  
  
Jack kissed him again. "That I think too much." Jack grinned and tugged him down the path, his good mood restored. "Come on, we're almost there."   
  
Did Jack just say? What exactly did Jack say? That he wanted sex? God, could this day get any stranger? Daniel started praying.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Once they reached the bottom, Jack emptied both of their packs. Daniel looked on amazed. Food, blankets to lie on, towels, suntan lotion and something else that Jack hid off to the side. The man came prepared.   
  
"Practicing to be a Boy Scout, Jack?"  
  
"Eat. Save the sarcasm for later."  
  
Daniel snickered, sat down, and ate. The food wasn't half bad; sandwiches, fruit, a pasta salad, and more water. Daniel wisely refrained from watching Jack eat. Or drink.   
  
"Jack?"  
  
"What?"   
  
"Earlier, on the trail, you said you think too much. What did you mean by that?"  
  
"What do you think I meant?"  
  
"Jack, I'm being serious."  
  
"So am I. What do you want it to mean, Daniel?"  
  
"What I want is," Daniel paused and took a bite of his sandwich. What did he want? It wasn't just sex. That was only part of it. No, he wanted more. He felt as if he should be looking for the White Rabbit. Jack's moods were shifting faster than the Cheshire Cat's smile.  
  
"This." He swallowed. "I want this."  
  
"What?" Jack's turn to be confused.  
  
"I want lunch in forest. I want to drink beer that I don't even like and watch hockey games. Someday I'll even understand the rules. I want to spend Saturday afternoons with you and Cassie. I want to," Daniel nervously watched for Jack's reaction. "I want to wake up in your bed tomorrow morning."  
  
Jack sat quietly eating for a long time, making Daniel nervous. He had no idea what Jack was thinking. Did he say too much? Not enough? He couldn't tell from the look on Jack's face.   
  
"Jack?" Daniel prompted.  
  
"You done?" At his nod, Jack started picking up their lunch.   
  
"Jack?" Daniel held Jack's hands still.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What do you want?"   
  
Smiling, Jack stared into Daniel's eyes. "You," he said.  
  
"Me?"   
  
"Any way I can have you."   
  
Daniel was confused and then he laughed as he remembered. He'd told Jack the same thing by the river on PX9-32K. "Oh. Okay. So, uh, what happens next?"  
  
"You let go of my hands so I can finish cleaning up this mess."  
  
"Oh, sorry!"  
  
"Then," Jack smirked, "we get cleaned up."  
  
Daniel chuckled at Jack's antics and helped. The sooner they were finished, the quicker Daniel could do what he been dying to do for four months; kiss Jack without worrying about the consequences.   
  
Lunch all cleaned up, Jack started unlacing his boots. Daniel followed suit wondering what Jack was up to now. Slipping on the wet grass, Jack fell. Daniel didn't waste any time and kissed him. Pressed him back on the ferns and touched, tasted, trying not push Jack too far.   
  
Far from being shocked, Jack kissed him back. Enjoyed it. Participated. Made it too easy to deepen the kiss. Felt Jack grab his hair and hold him still as Daniel started to lose what little control he had left. And Jack let him drown.  
  
There was nothing but Jack's hands in his hair, on his face, under his shirt. Jack's tongue sliding into his mouth. Slick. Sweet as the oranges they'd had for lunch. Coaxing Daniel further, farther, deeper, harder. It was…  
  
Gasping for breath, Daniel pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on Jack's. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to do that?" Daniel whispered. Jack just chuckled and placed tiny kisses along his jaw line.   
  
"Too long?"   
  
"Real funny, Jack."   
  
He could still taste Jack on his lips. Wanted to kiss him again. To feel Jack under his hands without all these clothes between them. To feel his skin slicked with sweat overlaying solid muscle. Or to touch/taste, the silky hardness of his sex. Daniel licked his lips trying to banish that last image from his mind. As much as he wanted it, Jack probably wasn't ready for things to go that far yet -- no matter confident his words were earlier.   
  
Take a deep breath, Daniel kissed Jack quickly and then rolled over on his back to stare at the sky. "How cold is that water?"  
  
"Pretty cold."   
  
"I think I'll take a swim."   
  
"You don't have to." Leaning on his arm, Jack looked down at Daniel.  
  
"Yes, yes I do." Daniel cupped Jack's cheek. "Do you have any idea how tempting you are?"   
  
"No. Show me." Desire blossomed in Jack eyes.  
  
"Jack…" Daniel shook his head.  
  
Sitting up, Jack sighed. "Tell me something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you afraid of? I'm saying 'yes'." Jack ran his hands through his hair, a sure sign he was getting frustrated or irritated or both.   
  
"Jack, do you even know what you're asking?"  
  
"Christ! Yes, Daniel! You aren't the only one who's needed a cold shower." Jack turned around and stared at Daniel. "What do I need to say to convince you."  
  
"All right, answer a few questions for me then."   
  
"What?"  
  
"You realize that until today, all we've done is kiss, maybe hold hands, and sat together on the couch?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You've asked for space, asked me not push, hands off unless you said so?"  
  
"Yes." Jack grinned.  
  
"And now you want to 'go all the way' when we haven't even made it to second base?" Daniel was ready to strangle him.   
  
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Now, my turn." Jack pinned him to the grass.  
  
"Okay." Daniel answered warily.  
  
"Do you like me? Ah!" Jack held a finger over his lips. "Yes or no."  
  
"Yes." Daniel mumbled.  
  
"Do you want to have a relationship with me?" Jack traced his lips and Daniel was having a hard time focusing on the conversation. He had a sneaky suspicion that Jack knew it as well.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then try and follow me here, Daniel. I like you. You like me. We have this pool all to ourselves. We can relax, enjoy ourselves; you know, that strange thing that normal people do when they like each other."  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Good. Have I ever told you…" Jack traced his mouth again. "You think too much." Then Jack kissed him and Daniel stopped fighting; stopped fighting himself, Jack, or whatever this was between them. He wanted Jack too much.   
  
This was heaven, a dream from which Daniel never wanted to awaken. Jack's mouth punishing, tasting, forgiving, needing, giving himself. The slick heat of his tongue as it warred with his own. The scent of sweet oranges blending with crushed grass.   
  
Hands scrambled at clothing, both of them trying to get naked as quickly as possible, needing to feel skin. Needed to touch Jack as much as Jack needed to touch him. He wanted to feel every inch of Jack against himself. To hear Jack moan as he had moaned when Jack touched his back. To feel Jack shake with desire too long repressed.   
  
This was the meaning of life; having someone to share it with, and Daniel wanted to share it with Jack. Any way Jack would let him. For as long as Jack would let him.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Jack was lost the moment he'd touched Daniel. He wanted nothing more than to touch, hold, explore, have Daniel show him what it could be like. Needed to have more. Needed to get closer. Needed to tell Daniel what he wanted.  
  
As if the man could read his mind, Daniel whispered, "Let me," and he rolled them over taking control. Liquid heat engulfed Jack's neck, sucking, biting, lathing, pushing him close to coming right there. Chuckling, Daniel slid lower, his mouth finding Jack's nipples, worshipping them as Jack tried to stay sane. His body was being rocked with one sharp delicious sensation after another.   
  
Everything Daniel did, Jack loved. Whispered words against his skin that he couldn't hear, yet his body reacted to them as if programmed. His skin tingled where Daniel's fingers and mouth skimmed over it. His cock ached to be touched, and he wanted, wanted…oh Christ, he wanted to bury himself in Daniel's mouth and stay there forever.  
  
The confusion of the past few months set in again, yet Jack didn't let it stop him. He wanted Daniel too much. Daniel belonged to him, right here, right now. And he belonged to Daniel. He was done hiding from himself.  
  
He ran his fingers through Daniel's hair encouraging him to go lower. Daniel reached out and caressed his cock. Jack bucked into the loose hold, even that slight touch inflaming. Daniel stared at him, his eyes free, open, and yet wary. Jack didn't know what else to say to convince Daniel that it was okay, that he wanted this. He could only show him. And if Daniel stopped now, Jack was going to have to hurt him. He nodded and that was the encouragement that Daniel needed. He swallowed Jack whole. It was the most carnal experience that Jack ever saw, felt, and he wanted it to last forever. His head fell back as he let Daniel's tongue dance across his cock, his teeth gently scraping his sensitive flesh, Daniel's moans filling him as much as they pulled at his cock.   
  
Driving up and down into that heat, Jack barely held himself together. He didn't want the sensations to end. And Daniel just kept driving him toward that edge. He'd bring Jack to the brink and with a swirl of his tongue deny Jack release.   
  
He'd swallow Jack whole only to set him free and lick, suckle on his balls, rolling them in his mouth. Jack wanted to scream in frustration. Daniel smiled and sucked the head of Jack's cock back into his mouth. Jack couldn't take it. He needed more. What? What was he missing?  
  
"I know." Daniel told him. Had he spoken out loud? "Let me show you, Jack. Please?"  
  
Jack nodded. Daniel knew what he wanted, what he needed. And he let himself be led.   
  
Daniel rolled him over onto his side, stroking every available inch of bare skin. "God, I've wanted to touch you."   
  
There it was again…that sense of confusion, of wanting, desire, and just a hint of fear. Jack rolled slightly so he could see Daniel.  
  
"Do you trust me, Jack?" Daniel asked as he rubbed Jack's hip.   
  
"You know I do, Daniel."   
  
Daniel dug in Jack's backpack, searching for something. With a surprised laugh, he pulled out a plastic tube. At Jack questioning look, he said, "Well, well, well. Someone really is a Boy Scout."   
  
Laughing, Jack squirmed closer, silently begging Daniel to get on with it. His body was aching for something known and unknown. He jumped slightly at Daniel's first hesitant touch.   
  
"Relax."  
  
"I am relaxed."  
  
"Yeah, and I've got a bridge to sell you."   
  
"Only if it's not in Brooklyn."  
  
"How'd you guess?" Daniel whispered next to his ear as he gently circled the opening to Jack's body.   
  
Jack hadn't noticed when Daniel started. He only knew that it felt good. He was just starting to really relax when Daniel entered him, his finger slipping in easily. Jack jerked back onto Daniel's hand. 'Fuck.'  
  
"Easy, easy." Daniel rubbed his cheek into Jack's hair, his lips ghosting along the back of Jack's neck.   
  
Daniel's finger slipped in and out with a familiar, comforting rhythm. Jack rocked in time to Daniel's movements but it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. "More."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, god damn it, Daniel. I'm sure."  
  
He felt Daniel smile against his neck and heard Daniel squirt more of the lube onto his hand. "How much more?"  
  
"All the way."  
  
"Last chance to back out."  
  
"No."  
  
"Stubborn Jack."  
  
Laughing, Jack leaned back slightly so that he could see Daniel's face. "And your point would be?" Daniel's grin matched his own.   
  
"Breathe," Daniel whispered against his lips, kissing him deeply, distracting him as Daniel entered his body.   
  
"Christ!" Jack stilled, his mind filled with a strange explosion of feeling that ran throughout his entire body. It hurt but didn't hurt. And he wanted more.   
  
He pushed back against Daniel experimentally, groaning as Daniel filled him completely. Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack, giving them both some needed leverage.   
  
Gently at first, then with more speed and strength, Daniel pushed…Jack needing something he didn't understand and Daniel trying desperately to lead him there.   
  
Jack wanted, his body erupting right and left with lightening that shot back and forth from his cock to his spine. He couldn't tell up from down, left from right. His entire world was centered on the man holding him, fucking him…  
  
"I love you, Jack." Daniel spoke quietly.  
  
Who loved him. Christ. Daniel loved him.   
  
Jack cried out, Daniel's name on his lips as he came.   
  
Daniel continue to move inside of him with short deliberate strokes, coming himself a minute later. Jack felt each pulse echo through his own body, spiking, causing his cock to twitch with renewed interest. Daniel loved him. Christ, he'd been blind. And Daniel had spoken so softly that Jack had barely heard him.   
  
"Daniel?" Jack spoke once they'd both calmed.  
  
"What?" Daniel nuzzled at the back of his neck, lazily kissing and stroking.  
  
"I love you too."   
  
Smiling, Daniel kissed him. "Come on, lets get cleaned up. I've got to get back to base. I've got a mission in about six hours."   
  
~~->>~~  
  
"Carter, do you see Daniel?" Jack radioed to Sam across the clearing. Teal'c took a position to the south with SG-3 covering the north. The distress call had gone out less than two hours before, but any sign that they were here had completely disappeared. The Gate had opened, the signal sent through, and then shut down. All in all, ten seconds had passed. SG-11 needed help, but they didn't have time to escape through the Gate nor could they leave it open. Something was seriously wrong.  
  
"No, he's not on my scope, sir. In the compound maybe?" Sam pointed to the adobe buildings off to the east.   
  
"Teal'c, you and Carter check it out. I'm going north with SG-3. If anything moves and I mean anything, I want to know about it."  
  
"Understood, O'Neill."  
  
"Yes, sir." Sam waved and disappeared into the brush.   
  
Jack searched for any sign of Daniel or SG-11 on his way to the north side of the plateau. SG-11 was supposed to camp, make nice with the natives, and search for anything that could be of use to the SGC. That was four days ago. They'd checked in every hour on the hour until this morning when all communication ceased. Initial attempts to locate the team failed and another M.A.L.P. was sent through the Gate. SG-11 had simply vanished.   
  
"Colonel, I think you'd better come take a look at this." Major Roberts called over the radio.   
  
"Already on my way." Jack picked up the pace and found SG-3 hunkered down near the plateau's edge. "What've you got?"  
  
Roberts just pointed and Jack looked down. Jesus Christ! The rocky trail was littered with the dead and the dying. It was a massacre, bodies everywhere. The locals didn't have a chance. Definitely the work of the Goa'uld. It reminded him of Niirti's attack on the training planet, a cleverly staged ambushed in the valley giving the inhabitants no where to run. It had also happened within the last hour.  
  
Time to collect his troops. "Carter, Teal'c. To the Gate now! Roberts, get your people and get going."   
  
"Sir, what about you?"  
  
"I'm going to find out what happened to SG-11. Unless you hear from me personally, you are to consider me dead, got it?"  
  
"But, Colonel."  
  
"No, I'm not losing any more people to this bitch. I'm checking the dead and moving out. I want you all at the Gate and on your way back to the SGC before I get to the valley. Any sign of trouble, hide, and at the most convenient opportunity, gate to a secure planet. Now go." Fuck. Niirti. It had to be her. If she'd harmed one hair on Daniel's head, Jack was going to make sure she died slowly and painfully.  
  
Jack half slid, half scrambled down to the bottom of the ravine, using the shrub brush and outcroppings to hide behind as he looked for movement. Nothing stirred except an occasional moan from one of the villagers. Carrion eaters circled overhead dipping and gliding back up, unsure of the situation. Something was making them nervous. And what made them nervous, made Jack nervous.   
  
"Sir?" Sam appeared at his side followed by Teal'c.   
  
"I thought I told you two to head back to the Gate." Jack whispered harshly.  
  
"Indeed you did, O'Neill. I chose to accompany you instead."  
  
"We disobeyed orders. Daniel's our friend too. What's the situation?"  
  
"I don't know." Jack shrugged. "Something's got the birds spooked."  
  
"O'Neill, MajorCarter, cover your eyes. Do not breathe." Teal'c pulled out his gas mask and Jack and Sam followed suit, putting them on.   
  
"That is why the birds do not land, O'Neill. A Goa'uld She'tak." Teal'c's voice was distorted through the mask, as he pointed to a small sphere protruding from the ground. Biological warfare.   
  
"Look for a cave. If SG-11 ran into one of these things, they'll have found someplace to hole up until help arrived." Jack searched up and down the valley with his binoculars. There were several spots that looked promising, but Jack was concentrating on those closest to the trail. It would also have to be something higher up, away from the bacteria, disease, or whatever it was.   
  
Jack called for his team and started climbing. The villagers were dead. Anyone could see that. But Daniel might still be alive. At least someone was when they had marked the side of a cave mouth. To the casual observer, it would look like one of the dozens of scorch marks made by a staff weapon. But someone had deliberately shot the side of the cave; it looked like an checkmark that said, 'search here'.   
  
The sound of a weapon cocking stopped Jack in his tracks at the cave entrance. "Daniel?"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill?"   
  
"Rothman?" Jack hurried forward. "Where's Daniel?"  
  
"Niirti." Robert huffed through his mask. "She took him to her ship."  
  
"How badly are you hurt?"  
  
"I'll live."  
  
"Where's the rest of your team?" Jack looked around in the half-light, but the cave was empty except for Robert.   
  
"Dead. And Niirti is up to something. Have to…have to destroy the village."  
  
"Carter, over here." Jack waved. "Help me get Rothman on his feet. If we don't get moving soon, we'll all be dead. I've got a very bad feeling about this place."   
  
Sam hurried to help Jack. Robert's breathing was labored and his leg steadily seeping blood. He was barely able to stand and the sooner they got back to the Gate, the quicker they could get medical attention and Jack could come back to get Daniel.  
  
The Goa'uld already affected too much of his life. He was not going to lose Daniel to them as well. He had been the one thing that had kept Jack sane. The battles between Earth and the Goa'uld stretched across the galaxy with too many innocents getting killed along the way and Jack was tired of it all. Once this was over, he was going to retire for good. Hopefully, he could convince Daniel to come with him.  
  
~~->~~  
  
"Daniel!?"   
  
Déjà vu fell over Daniel at Jack's voice only it felt off, backwards. He raised his head, afraid that his ears were playing tricks on him. "Jack?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me." Jack stroked his cheek, his voice filled with self-loathing.   
  
"Wha…what are yo…you doing he…here?" Daniel struggled to speak. His voice was raw from screaming and he'd had little to drink in the past twelve hours, which made every word spoken painful.   
  
"Shh, don't talk. Drink." Jack held a canteen to his mouth and Daniel drank the few mouthfuls gratefully. Jack had come. He could get out of here.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Niirti's gathering her men south of here for an invasion. We're blowing the compound while she's distracted. It's perfect timing."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Sam, Teal'c, SG-3 and me." Jack rubbed his thumb along Daniel's jaw. "I thought you were on the mothership."  
  
It occurred then to Daniel that Jack would have to leave him here to accomplish the mission. That Jack had stayed with him this long had been risky. It was supposed to be simple, get in, set the bomb, and leave. Jack hadn't expected to find him here.   
  
"Daniel?" Jack sounded worried.  
  
"You can't get me out, can you?" Daniel tugged on his chains, wanting to touch Jack one last time. Any part of him. Denied even that comfort in yet another part of this bizarre nightmare as voices rang in the hallway along with the familiar stomp/march that announced Niirti's return, and consequently, his hellhole. The truth was there, exhibited by the grief that filled Jack's eyes. Daniel had his answer.   
  
"I'll come back for you, Daniel. I swear." Jack kissed him, the contact both desperately needed and painful. "Just stay alive." And as silently as he had appeared, Jack was gone, leaving Daniel very much alone.  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Daniel had no idea how long Jack had been gone. Time rarely had meaning in his prison. It could have been minutes or hours. The guards had taken turns kicking and punching him as Niirti asked question after question about the SGC that Daniel couldn't or wouldn't answer. "No more," he pleaded barely able to force the words past his bloodied lips.   
  
"Then tell me what I want to know." Niirti ran a finger down the side of his face, a perverted parody of Jack's earlier caress. The Goa'uld laughed softly as he shuddered and looked away, her touch a promise of more pain and little affection.   
  
"No," he stated evenly. There was nothing else she could do to him at this point. He would never give up his friends.   
  
Niirti grabbed his jaw, forcing Daniel to pay attention to her words. "Then you are worthless to me." Her smile was as evil as the Devil himself. With a vicious wrench, she released his face. "Kill him."   
  
A sinister rumble vibrated the building and Daniel chuckled as Niirti's eyes began to glow. He'd bought Jack enough time to complete the mission. "Bye, bye." He wished he had his hands free to wave as the ceiling started to collapse. Now, if only Jack would forgive him for dying. Relaxing into his chains, Daniel let the darkness of unconsciousness at long last claim him.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
Daniel's first thought upon waking was, I'm alive. His next one was ironically, why me? The air was filled with dust and dirt, which made him cough painfully. Already injured from repeated abuse, his chest erupted in agony bringing tears to his eyes. God, out of the frying pan and into the fire. Daniel struggled to move, brushing dirt from his face and debris from his legs. The room lay in ruins around him, but Daniel had been miraculously protected in the alcove and his chains blown free from their moorings.   
  
He was alive, damaged but alive. Definitely hurt, he thought as his left leg collapsed as he tried to stand. Bleeding too. He'd have to crawl out of here. Pale light filled what was left of the room. Blinking, Daniel searched for the Gate. Was it even still standing? And where was Jack?  
  
He heard other voices around him, some moaning and one very angry female Goa'uld. It would be the ultimate in irony to survive the collapse of the compound only to be captured by Niirti again. That was not an experience he wanted to repeat anytime soon. As quietly as he could, he worked his way to the far wall of the room using it to hide not only his presence but also offer a solid surface at his side.   
  
The smell of death hung in the air. The sickly sweet scent of fresh blood mixed with earth and concrete swam in the heat. Humidity surrounded him and blood loss stole what little energy he had left, making progress slow. So this was how it ended...scrambling, clawing in the dirt like some beast, surrounded by the death. He'd always thought he'd die of old age, not on some forsaken planet at the edge of the universe hoping against hope that Jack would find him, save yet again. He was so tired, his body taxed beyond its limits struggling to make it five more feet to the Gate. If he was lucky, really, really lucky he'd bleed to death before Niirti figured out he still alive.   
  
"Daniel." Jack whispered, materializing out of the shadows at his side. Thank God.   
  
Daniel smiled. "It's about damn time, Jack."   
  
"Had a little problem along the way."  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I'm hurt but I'll live." Jack held his hand, squeezing slightly. "Come on, lets go home."   
  
Daniel closed his eyes, resting for a moment and then led them both out. The abused of the past few days lifted, his body growing lighter with the pride in Jack's voice. He'd done as Jack asked. He'd lived, even when he reached beyond the point not carrying. He could go home. Finally.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
One year later…  
  
  
Daniel sat on the porch furiously scribbling away on his pad. Next to him, Jack sat, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head tilted back to catch the warmth of the sun on his face.   
  
"Someone's coming."  
  
"Huh?" Daniel looked down the road that led to the cabin. Dust rose up obscuring the vehicle so that Daniel couldn't tell who it was.  
  
"I'll be inside."  
  
"Jack," Daniel put his hand on Jack's arm. "Don't."  
  
Jack stood up and carefully made his way to the door. "It's my choice, Daniel."  
  
Sighing, Daniel leaned back in his chair to await the arrival of their guest. "It's spooky how you do that." He called from the porch.  
  
"All part of the package, babe. It's just all part of the package." Came the snarky response.   
  
Daniel snorted and cleaned off the table. His notes on the Anatazi tribes of the South West could wait.  
  
~~->>~~  
  
"Sam!" Daniel hurried down the stairs and pulled Sam into a big hug. "How are you? What are you doing here? Where's Teal'c? Why didn't you call?"  
  
Laughing, Sam hugged him back. "Which question should I answer first?"  
  
Smiling himself, Daniel let her go. "Sorry. How about you start with why you're here. You want something to drink? Coffee, tea, a beer?"  
  
"Coffee's good. How's Colonel O'Neill?"  
  
"He's healing."   
  
Daniel limped into the house, leaving Sam on the porch. He found Jack in the kitchen already setting the cups on the counter. Wrapping his arms around the other man, he pulled him close kissing the back of his neck. "Thanks."  
  
Jack nodded and poured the coffee.   
  
"Are you…?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe."  
  
"Okay." Daniel turned Jack around, putting his hands on Jack's cheeks. "I love you." Daniel leaned in, and kissed him again.   
  
"I know."   
  
Sighing, Daniel went out on the porch.  
  
Handing Sam her coffee, Daniel sat down in the opposite chair from hers. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"  
  
"I just wanted to see how you were getting along. I haven't heard from you in over six months."  
  
"Has it been that long?" Daniel pretended innocence.  
  
"Yes, Daniel." Sam grinned, not fooled for a second. "I thought you were going to keep in touch?"  
  
"Sorry. I guess I just got caught up in my work."  
  
"Are you still writing?"  
  
"Yeah." Daniel toyed with his cup, twisting it around and around in his hands.  
  
"How are you really, Daniel?"  
  
"I'm fine, Sam. Really." Daniel stroked her hand.  
  
"And Colonel O'Neill?"  
  
"He's good."  
  
"Why do I get the feeling you aren't telling me everything?"  
  
"Let it go, Sam. We're fine."  
  
"Daniel, I just worry. The two of you are up here all by yourselves. What if something was to happen?"  
  
Jack walked out of the door at that point. "Then it happens, Carter."  
  
"Jack." Daniel rose concerned.  
  
"Colonel…" Sam rose, shock in her voice and on her face.  
  
"Sit down, Daniel. I can find my own way." Jack walked over to the table with confidence and sat his coffee on the table next to Daniel.   
  
"I never said you couldn't."  
  
Sam fell back in her chair, her face a mixture of confusion, concern, and shock. "Daniel…why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I told him not to." Jack sipped his coffee, his entire body stiff.   
  
"But sir, we could have asked the Tollan, or the Nox…"  
  
Jack cut her off. "Daniel already did. They couldn't help."  
  
"But…"  
  
Daniel put his hand on the small of Jack's back, rubbing circles. He didn't know who he was trying to keep calm, himself or Jack. It didn't matter in the long run, the connection made him feel better and Jack relaxed slightly.  
  
"Sam, by the time I got in touch with them, the damage was done."   
  
"So, you aren't coming back to Colorado?"  
  
"No." Daniel shook his head. "I have everything I can possibly want right here." Daniel placed his hand over Jack's squeezing lightly. "And I won't leave Jack alone."  
  
For the first time in their screwed up relationship, Jack smiled at him in front of another person as a lover smiles. And for the second time that day, Sam was shocked speechless.  
  
"I, uh, see."  
  
Daniel looked up, concerned. "Don't be mad, Sam."  
  
"I'm not. This is just a bit of a surprise. Although why I didn't catch on before now…"  
  
"Sam…"  
  
"Daniel, you don't have to explain yourself to me. Just promise me something."  
  
"What?"  
  
Sam grinned, the smile reaching her eyes for the first time since she arrived. "You won't kill each other." She got up and came around the table to hug them both. "I may be clueless sometimes, but not that clueless." She laughed and Daniel couldn't help chuckling right along with her.   
  
"Are you staying for dinner?" Now that the cat was out of the bag, Daniel felt safe in inviting someone in the house. Unfortunately, Sam's cell phone went off. Answering it, she turned away for privacy. "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No. I don't think that's a good idea. He's right here." She put the phone in Jack's hand. "The General wants to talk to you."  
  
"Hello, sir."  
  
"Jack. How are you, son?"  
  
"Fine, sir. Fine."  
  
"Is Dr. Jackson taking good care of you?"  
  
"Always." Jack's smile was blinding, as he pulled Daniel closer to him. "Was there something you wanted, General?"  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact. When you are coming back?"  
  
"I'm not, General." Jack handed the phone back to Sam who took it confused. "Tell him what you want, Sam."  
  
With that, Jack rose and walked down the stairs, heading for the dock.   
  
Concerned, Sam started after Jack.   
  
"Sam." Daniel shook his head.  
  
"Will he be okay?"   
  
"He just needs time to himself."  
  
'Major Carter?' Sam blinked and slapped the phone to her ear. "Oh sorry! I'm sorry, General."  
  
Daniel couldn't hear the other end of the conversation, but he caught enough of Sam's end to know that the SGC would be leaving them alone from now on unless it was for a visit.   
  
"No, sir. No, sir. It's not that, General. I'm sure he didn't mean…Sir! Sir! Colonel O'Neill can't see. Yes, sir. No, sir. Dr. Jackson won't be returning either. Now, sir? But I'm on vacation!" Sam looked stricken.   
  
Daniel remembered a time when that was all Jack had on his mind as well…going fishing. Seems like Sam had the same problem.   
  
Disconnecting, Sam apologized. "Looks like we'll have to do dinner another time, Daniel."   
  
"Sure. Time to save the universe?"   
  
Sam smiled. "Yep."  
  
"Bye, Sam." Daniel hugged her.   
  
"Bye, Daniel. You take good care of yourselves."  
  
Daniel laughed. "Always."  
  
~~->>~~  
  
Daniel walked down to the dock to find Jack sitting with his feet dangling in the cool water. "Jack."  
  
"What?"  
  
Daniel sat down next to Jack, taking his own shoes off. "They didn't know."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then what are you upset about?"  
  
"Sometimes I just miss all the action."   
  
Daniel chuckled. "So do I." He moved closer to Jack. "Do you regret not going back?"  
  
"Is that what you really mean, Daniel?"  
  
Daniel sighed. "I don't know what I mean. I just…" Daniel couldn't figure out how to put into words what he was feeling. They'd been here at the cabin for over a year with no visitors. "I just wonder if staying up here is the best thing for you, for us."   
  
Jack grabbed Daniel, turning him so that he could touch his face. "Daniel, I don't regret anything. I don't regret loving you. I don't regret leaving the SGC and I sure as hell don't regret playing games with Maybourne. Sure, I might miss Sam, Teal'c or the General, but I have the most important thing I want right here. I've got you."  
  
"Jack, I…"  
  
"I know I'm not the best at saying what I feel on a good day, but never doubt that I love you, Daniel. Never." Jack kissed him to prove his point; a deep, soul searing kiss that would leave an imprint that could never be removed.   
  
Daniel broke the kiss off after a few minutes gasping for much needed air. "Wow."  
  
Jack leaned his forehead against Daniel's sharing the same breath. "I'm not the prettiest fish in the sea, but I'm yours."  
  
"Want to…?" Daniel hesitated.  
  
"Yeah." Jack nodded.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes." Jack climbed to his feet. "Well?"  
  
Laughing, Daniel grabbed Jack's hand and led him back to the cabin. "You are going to drive me nuts, you know that?"   
  
"If you don't get your ass in gear, I'm going to start without you."  
  
"Not a chance." Daniel paused at the base of the stairs to the porch needing to be reassured. "Jack, what changed your mind?"   
  
"You did."   
  
Surprised, Daniel stumbled on a stair. "I did? How?"  
  
Jack shrugged and answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "You love me." Jack gestured at his face and his body. "Even with this…"  
  
"What? You mean the scars?" Daniel snorted and continued up the stairs, guiding Jack into the house and toward his bedroom. "They don't change how I feel about you and they never will."  
  
"I know, Daniel. Now." Daniel helped Jack to get out of his shoes and clothes.  
  
"Took you long enough." Daniel kicked his own shoes off and quickly pulled off his shirt and shorts.  
  
"Daniel? Bite me."  
  
"Where?"   
  
"Just get your ass into this bed, Dannyboy."  
  
Daniel lay down, pulling Jack close.  
  
"Why do you love me?" Jack asked, stroking his arm.  
  
Daniel laughed. "Why does anyone? Because you are you. And I wouldn't have you any other way. Live a little, Jack." Daniel leaned over and gently kissed him.  
  
"Daniel, I'm being serious."  
  
"So am I. Was there something wrong with my technique? I could always use more practice."   
  
"I'm not in Kansas anymore, am I?"  
  
"When have we ever been, Jack?"  
  
"Good point." Jack rolled them over. "Daniel?"   
  
"Yeah?" He said breathlessly.  
  
"Shut up." Jack smiled affectionately, and Daniel, he did as he was told.   
  
~~->>~~  
  
There's that point in your life when you realize that for one shining moment, everything in your life would have been different. You would have been a different person, made different choices, and lived a different life. It takes a unique type of courage to make the right choice when the time comes. Or like Humpty Dumpty, who sat on his great wall, you'd fall, broken, to the ground below, waiting for all the King's horses and all the King's men, to try and put you back together again.   
  
Everything in life is a risk; living, loving, everything. It's the payoff that counts. Can you say with a clear conscience that you don't regret giving up your job, or your home, or whatever else the world deems so important? And in the end, that is all that truly matters.   
  
Did you play your cards and win?  
  
--The End--  



End file.
